• Saturday, July 28, 2007

Sleepless night, just can't sleep well lately. The pain in my shoulder getting worst everyday. Who will even bother about it.

Now i only know that i miss you more that anyone else, i want to see your smile, i want to hear your laugh. I think i don't have the chance anymore. I had been visit the place we went before. I saw everything changed, i don't know why my tears flow down on that time. I still don't know why my tears keep flowing, maybe i can't see the beauty of you anymore.

Chances is in my hand, is my fault to let it go last time. There's no more chance now, nothing i can do anymore. I only can let you go, is been so near yet so far between us. I don't have the talent of love. That's might be the reason you leave.

Tomorrow is the day my dad is coming back, also is the day i go back Ipoh. Hope my wound wouldn't be worst in Ipoh. I hope my dad gonna give me some money to change my player in Car and add some accessory and also my phone. I wonder this time can i choose phone myself. LG Prada? LG Shine? Nokia 8800 Gold Edition? Sony Ericsson W960i lol, i must be dreaming if i get those. Don't know why, lately keep thinking my birthday while it got like 3 more month to go. How i celebrate?? Sleep, eat and just normal day for me. I normally won't celebrate my birthday if nothing special. It might be special this year, who knows. Mr. mun tat will have a special birthday this year haha, got one gurl will celebrate with him and that was his last year birthday wish. Maybe i should wish for a gurl too. Ha-Ha-Ha.

Some question by girl

Girl : If i felt down in to a lake with your mother, who will you save first? and other one will drown.
Me : Er....i don't know how to swim.
Girl : ....Assume that you know how to swim.
Me : Er...i thought you know how to swim.
Girl : *piss*...assume that i don't know how to swim, so do your mother.
Me : Er.....i will choose.....er........like me see....
Girl : *try to go away*
Me : I know! I will choose my mother. *hahaha bastard*

• Friday, July 27, 2007

Can't sleep well for the whole night. Only can sleep for few hours. Went to have breakfast with lex and mun tat. Mun tat going back to Ipoh for recheck his car. Is 6.48am now, what can i do to make myself sleep? Why i feel so hard to breath? Sunday morning, my father gonna come back for vacation. I got to fetch him from KLIA. Then go back ipoh for my little vacation, borrow that few day to forget about the pain and sad thing. My shoulder is getting worst, i wonder will my hand die. Why every time i think of it, my eyes getting red. Super women, why this song appear at this time? this is the song you like alot, i don't know for now. You did like it before.

The power of moving on, is you
The reason of staying here, is you
The happiest time of my life, is with you

I know nothing can change your decision. I know the reason why. I should change it long time ago, everything is too late for me. Nothing i can change now, because there is no more reason let me change anymore.

• Thursday, July 26, 2007

Today

Girl : Where had you been just now?
Me : Clinic
Girl : What happen to you? Sick?
Me : Nope, get injection.
Girl : What's the problem?
Me : Liver got some problem.
Girl : Is that serious?
Me : Nope.
Girl : Oh...how if you didn't take the injection?
Me : Maybe will cause liver failure.
Girl : Is that serious?
Me : Nope. Just cause death
Girl : .........

•

Did someone feel the pain in your heart before? i felt it just now, is seriously pain and i can't breath just now. I think that's the most pain for me in my life, do you believe in heart break? I believe it now, i can't even see clearly. I am fine, i control myself well today, i had been smiling whole day. Just that my tears keep falling to my keyboard.

You, what i can talk about you. Know you about 1 year plus. When i meet you in KL Sentral, you look cute and you smile happily. The first meal we took are McDonald, i ordered a 20 pieces mcnugget to force you eat. You seem like first time saw that big box of nugget. You don't like the sound come out from Putra LRT. That's the first time you touch my hand, your hand is so small compare to mine. That's the day you bring me and my house mate go Petaling Street. That's the first time i been there. We had our dinner there. I been thinking about you all that night. And i spend alot time with chatting with you in phone as we do it with skype while i still stay in ipoh. We non stop chatting for 45Hours. I sended alot joke for you, just because i to hear your laughing. Stop asking whether you are getting fat or not, you had been asking me from the first day we met. There is too much to write about you, just because i can't forget the day we were together from the very first day. When i know saw your new start, i can just guess. I just don't believe in my guessing and it really happen. Just hope you were happy with your choice.

• Sunday, July 22, 2007

Lately got some feeling keep appear in my heart. Jealousy, it might be one of them.

I don't know why i jealous when some guy near you.
I don't know why i jealous when you go out with some guy.
I don't know why i jealous when some guy phone you.

Maybe i too over and i just can't control my feeling at all.

When facing you, my heart beat is faster than normal.
When facing you, i just can't speak well.

I don't even dare to tell you the feeling in my heart. Is just because i scare i lose you. I just keep all my feeling to myself. No matter how i miss you, i won't tell you. Just because i know you.

What can i do to make you happy?
What can i do to make you feel safe?
What can i do to make you accept me?

I don't know why i will worry when i can't received your message.
I don't know why i will sad when you were sad.

I miss the time that we were together. The time you hold hand. The time you smile because the thing i did. But now i can't see your smile, not at the thing i did. I can't see the spark in your eyes. Time made you change, or i am the one who just standing and left behind in the pass.

When i am with you, i feel so alive.
When i am with you, i feel so comfortable.

Do you still remember the time that we together? Everything is in my mind, is like just happen yesterday. I know i might not the one you seeking for. I didn't regret for everything i did for you. I know i might get nothing in the end. But i just don't want to give up so easily, not until the end. Is impossible to ask me forget about you. I know you ask me to do that before. Nothing of you i can forget. Not even a small tiny thing.

You might not be the best in this world, but i know i love you.

Sorry is the word i don't want to hear from you the most. I did everything because i wanted to.

• Friday, July 20, 2007

I hope you all can see the green picture. I finish a game in 67second HA-HA-HA-HA my best time, but i know alot people better than me out there. There's been alot thing happen to me lately, like i brought a mouse. Ya, a mouse. Black one, kinda cute, move very fast, i name it as Steve Mcqueen. If you think i brought a mouse, i mean pet. You phail. I brought a computer mouse, it got sum 2000dpi max. It can change 5 speed from 600, 800, 1200, 1600 til 2000dpi. Kinda cool and i like the mouse alot. Made from Gigabyte and is only rm55 for it. Today 4am only finish rushing my BM assignment, stupid assignment ever. tomorrow early morning still need to present, hope everything go fine. My phone is fucking spoiled, yes spoiled. My keypad gone mad, when i press 1 it might come out with 2 or 4. I can't even type my sms nicely. My memory is full for no reason. All is crap, i gonna change it asap. I just put a visor for my car. It look kinda cool outside, but when you go in, for me as a driver. It block my view duh. My mom went to china for some business matter, for 1 week. No one to talk to, damn bored. My dad is coming back end of this month. He gonna change my player in my car, wahaahahahah. Let's pray he change my phone and add amp for me =x Today i just got my result of midterm for Accounting, it got 60 marks and next week got one is 40marks. It need 40 mark to pass with two paper. For the first paper i got 45marks, mean next paper i do or not i also pass. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

• Sunday, July 15, 2007

Just feel freaking tired lately. Nothing much to say about my life lately, nothing special.

Lie, did you lie to anyone before? I did, i bet everyone does. Are you afraid someday when people find out about your lies? Why does some people just want to lie to me? I prefer the cruel truth more than the lies. If you want to tell me a lie, hide it perfectly. Don't let me find it out. I am tired of lie, why every time i can figure it out when you tell a lie to me? If you don't want me to do anything to you, tell me. If you want me get out of your life, tell me. I don't want to suffer between your lies. Don't tell me your bullshit anymore.

If you don't believe me, don't ever trust me. You think i will harm you, believe it cause i will.

I try anything to change myself, i be truth to you. What i get in return is nothing, i didn't request much about you, just one smile is more than enough. What so great about your pass? Didn't i have one? I get over it, you? Staying there for nothing. You think he will come back for you? Dream on. Wanna forget someone? I can tell you that the secret how, is to accept someone. People just can't forget things. Trust me, i knew it more than you do. Love is the thing you scare of? You know how people conquer fear? Is to do it again. Hurt? Pain? That's what you tell yourself. When you born in to this world, you got nothing but yourself. I know is hard to put it down in a short period, but why you need to suffer about it?

Love, is that so hard to get? Just one relationship, can destroy your future relationship? I had no idea man, maybe i not involved with it yet. Or maybe i understand it more than you do? You want a reason that i love you? I can't tell you i can't find it, when i found it out. I know that was a answer to let me don't love you anymore. When i request something, i get nothing more than a reject. Are my request so hard to do? Or you just hiding something from me? Why someone can get something easily from you while i can't? What's the different between me and him? Just because i am the one who love you? Or i am the one you afraid to face with? Why i am the one who worry about you while you don't bother about it. Why i am the one who nervous when you are in trouble? Maybe last life i was a monk? That's why now i am so nice to people? Or maybe i am just a idiot? Why i need to do so many things to make you happy?

When ever i saw a couple, i smile because i hope someday we can become like them. When you look at a couple, your eyes tell me that you hate it. Because he is the one you want it? Because he is Handsome? Rich? Caring? Good Hearted? Cool? Yea, i admit. I got nothing, no outlook, not cool, and i am not rich. When you need help, i lend my hand to you. After it, you forget about it. Not because reward, i just want you to know i am beside you. People ask me why i need to help you while i am not you anyone, i just smile and don't know how to answer. Maybe that's what my heart want me to do. People ask me whether i tired with waiting, my answer always is no. Because i believe.

Trust, is something important while is hard to do. I trust you, no matter what. I believe in you. Everything you said to me. I believe it. When i said something, you think it was joke. Time is keep going on, while you still don't believe in me and understand me. I understand you, that's why i know i can believe in you. But you disappointed me every time. Last time, you said i am weak because i don't have my own decision. Am i really weak? I care about people feeling that's why i don't do my decision which will hurt other people or regret later. I might be stupid, i might slow in respond. But what i tell you is truth, that's what i can promise. I won't say we will together forever even we were couple because i don't believe in forever. Forever only last in our heart, our mind.

Handsome, what can you do with his face? Did his face can earn money?
Rich, money can finish anytime.
What's your perfect boyfriend? Got own life goal? Same interest with you? Can speak out sweet words?
If you don't mind, we can make things better together. What i need is the chance you give.
I will try my best to make you happy, i will be beside you every time you need me.
Don't ask forever from me, try to ask yourself. Can you give me forever, before ask me.
You afraid hurt and pain, so do i.
Don't afraid about your pass, i will accept it.
Don't always act tough, it will never helps you.
Don't ever try to lie to me unless you need to do so badly.
Don't always give me hints, try to tell me directly, it might be give you more surprise.
When i say i miss you or i love you, i mean it.

• Friday, July 13, 2007

Sometime i wonder do i even exist in this world, i seem so tiny in this world. Not just tiny in this world, i would say among my friend. Life sometime just mean not to be mine, maybe i will just live like this forever. Who know what will happen tomorrow? I live everyday like was last day to me. Before i sleep, just think did i regret did anything today.

Even i keep my old memory in closet, it will flow out like air. Remind me of everything we did together. I just try to keep you to be with me, only your body is with me. Your soul and your heart is with other guy. Every time you chat with him, or tell me the things about him. You will never know how i feel on that time, i just keep smiling and keep the pain for myself. I am also just a normal human with flesh and blood, why i need to keep all the thing to myself? Do you even listen to me when i talk to you? Do you wanted to know me more? Do you even try to understand me more? I keep try to let you understand about me, but why just every time you need to mention about him? Why you can't let the pass go? To let it go, is to accept a new beginning. You will never know what will happen if you don't try it out. Maybe it will hurt again, but u grow mature from it. You will learn the mistake from it, and try to better next time. Until you find the suitable one. Love might be a chapter of your life, but love is a whole book of my life. I never wanted much, just a hug when i am lonely. Or maybe just want to listen your story when i am stress. Just want to let you know, because of you, i learned what is happiness, sad, angry, jealous and more... Miss you is like breathing air every day, every minute, every second. I might don't have any place in your heart, all i want you to know. When you were alone, sad or stress, i hope you know i am beside you. I am ready to listen and lend my hand to you. If you want to cry, i will lend my shoulder to you. If you want to wipe out your tears, i can lend you my hand.

Don't know why i will write those out...just my feeling. Feelings from my heart.

• Saturday, July 7, 2007

What a great day was today, 07-07-07 once in a century. What happen to you today? Or anything special happen? Come share with me. Today is my worst day ever, early morning need to attend Bm class while only 5 people wanted to attend. When i back home, i need to go out for some reason. I fucking get lost on the way to PJ, and i went to subang jaya. I saw the damn piramid, and some crap place. Til the end, i reach Time square instead of 1U. Jalan Genting Klang go Timesquare need 63km? It must be joke of the day. When i reach there, i went to toilet. I saw a "men" there, he got curly hair and bring some baby stuff. At the first place i thought i went to a female restroom, and he look at me when i ask is this a male or female toilet. Luckily he didn't beat me up. After that, went lunch with lex, mun tat and his dear. Then have a 3 game bowling. On the way back, my mood just went down badly. Reason? No idea, just having bad feeling. When reach home, saw some message on the msn. Then i feel worst. Went to take a nap before dinner, after wake up. I just feel like wanted to kill people, my brain is seriously mess up. Feel damn fucking angry and wanted to kill everyone i saw. That's my great day today, it left 1 and 28min. I hope nothing bad happen til then.

• Friday, July 6, 2007

Long long long long long long time ago, A fat bastard had been born. Who's leg is that on the picture above? That's the fat bastard's leg. Who's the fat bastard? That's me. How did that happen to me? I won't tell you faggot. Ha-Ha-Ha. Whatever, just skip the damn topic. Life just boring lately, and it just freaking hot nows day. Maybe the earth is dying or the sun is nearer. Who cares, everybody is busy with their things. Tomorrow still have some retarded BM class, the lecturer teach nothing but crap, one fucking assignment need 3 weeks to discuss? Wasting time and it some more on fucking 8am in the morning. He talk soft like hell and just keep follow what the paper printed out. I don't know how to read? Fucking wasting my parent's money for this shit. Seriously, i don't even know what's the point i write this post for.


Who is her? She's my one important role in my life. She is cute and i like her smile. Ha-ha-ha. She is like princess and dream to be princess. Know her since form1 or 2 i think. although is far from me but we seem close sometimes, now not really because something happen between us maybe. Miss her alot tho. Wanna meet her soon again. Cause i miss you i miss you i miss you. If you see this please leave me a msg (refer to the picture owner). I really miss the time when we shopping together although i am just a wood block. I tried to change better this time. Hope i got the chance again.

I think that's it for now, i am tired and tomorrow got the retarded class which i don't know wanted to attend anot.

• Wednesday, July 4, 2007

At last, my car arrived. Is a Proton Wira 1.5 Special edition. Black in colour as you can see from the picture above. It was a nice car but got abit underpower and the fuel consumption still high. I hope after the first service it will be better. After brought the car, i learned alot of thing about it. Like those accessory and those service thingy. Last time i don't even bother about it, now must at least know some of the basic thing. What i don't like this car is the player, it still cassette player -_- Lame. Who the heck still using it? I plan to change my player end of this month, which my dad coming back. He said wanna change Sony player for me, i hope he gonna get me woofer and amp. i think thats all for my car, or maybe add a wing behind(GT WING I MEAN) lol.


Lately just wish to have some chilly beer at night, thanks to those weather i need to change alot clothes. Don't tell me global warming or any shit, it just freaking hot at night lately. Tonight i gonna watch midnight show again at midvalley or should i said it called megamall, who can tell me which one is the correct one -_- Whatever la, Transformer is a not bad movie. Who not yet watch can go watch. It look pretty cool and nice. Tonight gonna watch die hard 4.0 is DIE HARD FOUR POINT O (LOL) I hope the action is more better than last 3 episode and hope it won't let me down.

Respect!

Welcome to my blog
View and tag ,that's the slightest expectation from you .
Spammers will be banned ,and that's that .
Childish people please grow up and be mature yeah .
Last but not least ,i love you people .

we'll get to know it all .


That's my name .
Love me for who i am ,cos I love you all !

Things that I want the most now.

• Love?
• Blackberry Bold / Storm
• New Speaker for my computer
• New Clothes
• New Short Pants
• Puma Bag
• LED lights for my car
• Dashboard Fur (Black)
• UR Bar
• New Suspension
• New Component Set for my car
• New Keyboard
• New Bumper
• Good Birthday Plan
• New Car?

sing ,sing a song .

Tiny pieces of our story .

•November 2006
•December 2006
•January 2007
•February 2007
•March 2007
•April 2007
•May 2007
•June 2007
•July 2007
•August 2007
•September 2007
•October 2007
•November 2007
•December 2007
•January 2008
•February 2008
•March 2008
•April 2008
•May 2008
•June 2008
•July 2008
•August 2008
•September 2008
•October 2008
•November 2008
•December 2008
•February 2009
•March 2009
•April 2009
•May 2009
•June 2009
•July 2009
•August 2009
•September 2009
•October 2009
•November 2009
•December 2009
•January 2010

There she is .

D-signer }-im.perfect
hosts }Blogger Photobucket